Drowning
by dont-let-him-take-you-from-me
Summary: Elena finding Stefan in the safe AU warning: contains dark!elements, read at your own risk.


_ONE SHOT I WROTE ON MY TUMBLR THAT WAS REQUESTED BY ANON. THIS IS CANON FOR SEASON FOUR STELENA EXCEPT ELENA DIND'T CHOSE DAMON AND GETS AWAY, GOING ON A SOUL SEARCH BUT SHE CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL THE STRANGE LIFE LIFE DREAMS OF STEFAN DROWNING IN A SAFE, AU, KINDA._

 _REVIEW AND RATE?_

Elena Gilbert sits on the plane, coming back from Italy, she had time to clear her head there, have her final shame spiral over, what she did that summer, turning her humanity off, because Jeremy died, all the innocent people she killed, even trying to kill her friend who were just trying to help, to say that she wasn't taking anything she did in the downward spiral lightly, and the guilt ate at her everyday was an understatement. She felt like a failure, like she didn't know what she was doing anymore, she had tried to go on a nice vacation, somewhere far, without the influence of Mystic Falls or her friends on her, but every time she slept, she got these weird visions, of her with her humanity off, killing everyone, she needed to get back to Stefan, ever since he found out that she went to Italy, he had been keeping his space, and she loved him for it, she didn't need him to be involved with her when she couldn't even take care of herself, but now she realized that she does need him to fix things, be that loyal friend to her, and help her get past these emotions. Her soul search ended in vain, as she packed up the last of her things and headed back to her hometown in Virginia.

Suddenly, the pilot says the plane is landing, and she sighs in relief, a million emotions flood through her, she hadn't told anyone that she was coming back, and she almost didn't want to see anyone either, she had caused too much damage, fixable beyond repair.

But, she knew Stefan could help her he always helped with everything, and she admired him for that, she doesn't dare say love, because he doesn't deserve her love, not after all the messed up things she did, how she lost herself, became a monster, but she was trying to do better, and a part of her things that he would be proud of her.

Once the plane lands, she exits, with her duffel bag in hand, she vamp speeds her way to a hotel, outside of Mystic Falls, not wanting to be seen by anyone, she can hardly take all the pain, as she lays down on the bed that night, unable to sleep, even though technically she didn't need it, her body replenishes herself, but she feels so damn tired, as she closes her eyes, images of her killing people with her humanity off floods through her eyelids, the way their head's rolled, how she snapped that waitress's neck that night, she finds herself slowly digging her nails into her arm, as the visions pass, she's shaking slightly, and sweating a little, but each vision goes through, and she feels herself relax again, she finds sometimes thinking of Stefan helps, thinking of him, his gentle smile, the way he'd say her name in the most loving manner, his eyes filled with love towards her, well now that was gone. She wonders if he's doing fine, and if he moved on from their crappy life in Mystic Falls and found someone to light his heart up again, but part of her is selfish and needs him in this trying time, he's someone she can reach out to in her time of despair. She thinks silently of the fond memories of them by the fall, the way their wool blanket would be laid out in the hot sun, the water whooshing in their ears, as Elena would lay on his chest, smiling softly, and he would talk to her, about different things, making her heart beat out of her chest, as she would raise up, a small smile on her lips, as he looked at her in such love, and she would lean down and kiss him softly, needing his soft lips on his, she smiles in her sleep, as she feels herself fading from the world.

Suddenly their still by the falls, as they lay on that thick blanket, and she feels the wind pass through her, smiling as she lays on Stefan's chest, listening to his steady heartbeat against her ear, counting each beat, as her hands caresses his chest slowly, his fingers in her hair, making her giddy with emotion.

"Close your eyes." He whispers against her ear, and she closes them, feeling the sun kiss her face, a smile on it.

Suddenly the water comes up, and she's transported into a safe, a black safe, as she sees Stefan drowning in there, his green eyes wide open, as he looks at her, his face full of worry and fear, as she drowns with him, her lungs on fire, from the loss of air, she knows that this is just a dream, but it feels so real, like he's actually there.. drowning in misery, just like he is in the dream world before her.

She shoots up in bed, chocking, as she realizes from the cool air on her face, that she's not in a safe, she's in her bed, breathing in the air selfishly, her eyes wide open, as she wipes away her tears.

What the hell was that?

She breathes heavily, wiping the sweat from her face, why was she dreaming about Stefan in a safe? Most importantly, is he okay? Maybe It was just an anxiety filled dream, her guilt creeping up on the way she treated him with her humanity off.

She groans low, and lays back, her head hitting the pillow, it was the most intense dream she had ever had, and it had to mean something, suddenly a shallow chill goes through her stomach, and she shivers lightly, when she closes her eyes she sees that same safe in her mind, Stefan wordlessly trying to reach out to her, his hand just inches from her face, and she feels his pain, and his loneliness, as harsh tears run down her face.

"I don't understand what you're saying!" She yells out of frustration, while she sits on the bed, all she knows is that he's scared, and suffering, and she feels sick to her stomach, enjoying these last few months of summer while he was suffering, this must be real, he must be in a safe, drowning over and over again in misery.

The next day after she doesn't sleep at all, but she's not tired, as she dresses in a purple tank top, and black pants, throwing on her brown boots, she needs to find him, but she doesn't know where he is, she wants to check the quarry first, the first place he opened up about his past to him, where he took his ring off, and wanted to throw it in, but she stopped him, told him to keep fighting, and he did. The place where he took her, where they climbed that mountain, there's a river below, she's sure he's there, the place where their fondest memories are.

She calls Caroline and tells her, for a second she thinks her best friend is still mad at her for mocking Caroline with her humanity off, and treating her like dirt, she apologizes a million times over the phone, but Caroline just shakes her off, and says it's fine, and she'd be glad to help her find Stefan, to meet her by the quarry tonight, her mom was going to be there, with the police force, and they weren't stopping until they found Stefan, again. she thank Caroline with tremendous gratitude but she just tells Elena.

"What are friends for?" Elena smiles, at this comment, and feel a little less lonely, as she prepares now, for the night, she tears open a blood bag, and drinks it, the veins under her eyes come out, as each drop of blood goes down her throat, making her feel replenished for a second but then and suddenly she is being transported when she fed on that cheerleader at the competition, where she dropped Caroline on purpose, out of boredom.

She closes her eyes, and grabs the table, as she feel the flashes come back to her, the smell of blood suddenly makes her sick, sick to even continue with the blood bag, as she spits it out, this was becoming a problem, she was starving but the guilt ate at her, slowly. She wonders how Stefan will be after he's been drowning in the safe for three months, wonder if he'll go ripper and rouge, leaving her behind, slowly letting the blood consume him once again. Well, she won't let him, she'd fight with him, and take care of him, just like the times he took care of her, she wouldn't let him slip away again. She looks in the mirror at her doe brown eyes, as she brushes her long brown hair, she decides to straighten it.

She doesn't spend much time on her makeup, not really caring how she looked, her mind was a mess, and her thoughts we're always about Stefan, she grabs her phone, and vamp speeds to the sight of the quarry where Caroline is waiting, she's wearing a pretty blue summer dress, that brings out her blue eyes, and cow boy boots, she smiles at her best friend, seeing her for the first time in months, she quietly hugs her, but Elena doesn't speak to her, and she understands it, as they stay quiet, waiting for Caroline's mom to initiate the search, she feels a sense of relief as she watches the crane go into the dark water, hope flashes into her eyes, as Caroline holds her hand, and she's grateful.

"We'll find him, Elena." She promises. And I nod my head, looking at her, a small smile on my face.

Caroline and Elena watch as the crane lifts up nothing for a couple of mintues and Elena's heart sinks in her chest as she faces the disappointment, maybe it was just a feeling, he wasn't there. But then she fights herself on her doubt. You can't give up, he wouldn't give up on you, she reminds herself as she holds her bubbly best friend's hand tighter, looking for strength, suddenly she hears a clunk and the sound bring joy into her heart, she watches as the crane pulls up a safe, it's black, like the one in her dreams, she holds onto Caroline's hand, tears streaming her vision, Stefan was finally going to be safe after all these months, he was finally coming home, it takes everything in her not to rush to the safe, and open it up, she must be patient, she has to remind herself that he's been drowning and will probably be in a lot of pain, but she was ready to help, ready to bring him back.

She watches as the safe drops to the dirt with a clunk, on dry land, and she gently walks with Caroline to the safe, scared to open it, and see him for the first time in months, although part of her is excited, she represses the emotions inside as she takes a deep breath, Liz Forbes, dressed in her police uniform, carries an red ax to the safe, to get the lock open, Elena watches with a light smile of happiness as Liz axes at the lock, the heavy lock falls to the ground with a clunk, as Caroline goes behind her mom, and opens the safe, it's dark but Elena can see the traces of a figure there, his head crouched, as the water flows out of the safe, he looks pale, too pale, and Elena feels the blood bag in her back pocket, ready to feed him if he wanted it. At first, he doesn't move, as he looks around, his green eyes dull, and part of her is scared that he switched off is humanity in there, as sadness creeps into her bones, making her feel ill from disgust over herself, how she didn't save him sooner, how he was probably counting on her. Slowly, he gets up, and his green shirt is soaked, along with his black pants, his hair wet, as he tries to stand up, tries to walk, but sinks into the safe again, gasping, and she almost reaches out for him, but Caroline holds her back, and she sighs deep, knowing that her friend was just worried.

She gently gets out of Caroline's grip and crawls to Stefan, his eyes are wide with fear, as he looks at her, probably scared that he was going to hurt her, but Elena knew he wouldn't.

Caroline is steady as she watches her friend crawl to her ex-boyfriend her movements are slow, and she's scared that he's going to attack her, her eyes stay on guard, watching Stefan's every move, as Elena gets closer.

Elena crawls more towards him until shes at his face, and she looks into his green eyes, he searches through her, and it hurts, because It's almost like he couldn't trust her now.

"I got something for you." She says, as she slowly reaches behind her and pulls out the blood bag, he eyes it, as he licks his lips, his nostril slowly flare, as he takes in the sweet scent of fresh blood, she's surprised that he doesn't snatch it from her, and tear it open, he must have been starving. He gently reaches out, and studies the girl before him,

Elena.

Was she really there? Was he hallucinating again? He looks at Elena- the girl he had been dreaming of for months, the one that kept him from turning it all off, the one that begged him in his dream to stay with her, and fight. His nose takes the scent of blood bag, and he feels a intense burning in his stomach, It'd had been months since he smelled the fresh scent of blood, and how badly he wanted to sink his teeth into the bag, but at the same time, he was weary and weak, and he could barely stand up now, every time he breathed, he sighed in relief through his nose, at the fresh air, such a blessing, a blessing he would never take advantage of again.

He slowly grabs the bag from her, his head resting against the safe's door, he was out in the open, finally, and the wind made his shiver slightly, as he stood there, shaking from the cold, he was all wet, and uncomfortable, but he didn't want to think about that, as his teeth ripped the blood bag apart, he groans as the blood hits his lips, and he tastes it, his veins coming out, as he drinks the warm blood, his vampire face, coming out, he watches as Elena watches him carefully, her brown eyes studying him, as she sits with him in his prison, the safe.

He gulps up the last of blood, and it hardly satisfies the thirst in his throat, he needs more.

He feels his strength replenishing in his bones as he slowly stands up, feeling a lot better, he looks at Elena now, as she stands up along with him, her smile makes him feel numb as she watches him.

"Stefan.." She starts to say, but he walks out of the safe, as the anger sets in, the anger he felt more months, of her not rescuing him, of not caring.

"Stefan, wait, you don't want to do this." She yells, after him, and he's almost amazed that she knows, that he's angry and all he wants to do is tear into an innocent human, get his fill of blood.

He turns around, his face in pain, as he looks at her.

"How would you know what I want, Elena?" He asks, his voice bitter, but she shakes her head, walking up to him.

"I know, you Stefan.. better then anyone, you don't want to do this." She whispers, as she reaches out to touch his back, but he flinches from her touch, it was like fire, and it was just making him angrier.

"Please, Stefan.. come back with me, I want to help you." She whispers, as she lays her hand on his back, and this time he lets her, relishing in the warmth he was getting from it, even if it was just a little bit, her touch brought back suppressed feelings in him, and he turns around and looks at her, her hair's a mess, and he sees the faint line of streaks on her face, she's been crying, and that's when he realized she must care, enough to save him this time around, but the voice in the back of his mind tells him different, and he feels himself struggling as she hugs him from behind, her cheek pressed into his shoulder, and he groans low, feeling her warm breath against his shoulder, he's still so damn cold, but her touch feels so right, and it ignites something within his heart, as she holds him there.

"Please come back with me." She whispers softly, and he hears her heartbeat in his ears, it's slow and steady, and it makes him sad, sad that she would risk her life just to save him like this, when he wasn't even sure what he was capable of doing or feeling anymore, he had been alone too long.

He sighs deeply, weighing the options in his heavy mind, go home with Elena and she re teaches him how to feel, he won't have to be alone or he could run off now, snap her neck, and leave her behind, go on a ripper binge, and never come back from that guilt. He chose to stay, here with her in his embrace. He needs her, more then he knows, so he takes her warm hand, shaking slightly as they make it back to the hotel, she wraps him up in blankets, and makes him take off his wet clothes, hanging them to dry, she tries not to notice his toned chest and muscles as she stretches out, and she scolds herself for looking, he was too damaged right now, she starts to sleep on the floor, give him the bed, but he refuses as he take her hand gently, and she lays on the bed next to him. She spends a lot of time, looking up at the ceiling as she monitors his heart beat, ready to wake up with him if he has a terrifying nightmare, slowly she drifts off to sleep, but not before she feels his warm hand latch onto hers, sending a little shiver down her spine, she finally drifts off, praying that her visions won't wake him up, he was too tired and needed this sleep.

He dreams slowly, at first it's nice dreams, him and Damon as little kids, playing in the snow behind the field in their house, and he smiles as Damon and him run through the fields, ice sticking to their clothes, as the wind howls towards them and as snow flakes dance on their tongues, when everything was simple, and it wasn't damn painful, and then suddenly the dream changes, water fills up the ice bank, and he gets washed away, he watches as Damon yells, his blue eyes wide, as he tries to save him, from the cruel prison, and suddenly Stefan is back in the safe, drowning over and over again, his lungs filling up with water as he dies over and over again, and suddenly he wakes up with a start, sitting up straight, the sheets soaked with his sweat, as he looks over at Elena, careful not to wake her, she needed her sleep, especially in dealing with him, these past few days. He scrambles out of bed, and decides to go to the bathroom, he hid a shard of glass in his pillow, he finds that commencing pain within himself helps, helps the nagging feeling in this pit of his stomach that won't seem to go away, the ripper side, the side that tells him to go kill innocent people, and he doesn't need that right now, so he takes the shard of glass into the bathroom, it's smooth against his hand, as he closes his eyes, it didn't hurt that much, as he jams the piece of glass into his neck, coughing, as it stays longed in there, the pain slowly fades, as he watches the blood drip on the white marble floor, he closes his eyes, trying to stay quiet, as he grunts in pain, his bloody hand gripping the marble sink.

Suddenly he hears tiny gasp and looks up to see Elena, her brown eyes wide, and as he tries to pull the shard of glass out of his neck, she rushes to him, her warm hands finding the side of his neck.

"Let me do it, let me do it." She almost begs, as she can't see him in this much pain, she gently feels the shard, and he groans louder, as her shaky hands, pull it out, she sets the long shard on the sink and he feels her eyes on him, as she looks at him. He looks so tortured and lost, and it breaks her heart, to see him like this. And he looks at her, trying to distinguish if this was real or not, or if it was just another sick vision, punching him in the gut, and he was actually in the safe, his breathing becomes heavier, as he feels the wound heal from his neck, it doesn't change the scars on his heart though.

He coughs light, and covers his mouth, still grunting, and he feels her featherlight touch on his wound, making him dizzy, as she checks it, making sure it was okay, he gently takes her hand, and puts it to his face, her touch is cool against his skin, and he feels a tiny flutter in his heart again.

She looks deep into his green eyes, and sees the sadness and pain reflecting in them, and she feels a sadness wash over her.

Suddenly, she feels sick to her stomach from the guilt that she didn't find him sooner, maybe he would have been better, and not suffering like now. But she's suffering from the same thing, as understanding creeps through her, they were the same, both fucked up, but willing to draw strength from each other.

And he looks into her innocent brown eyes, and sees the sadness in them, and he wonders why she's helping him, if he's just a monster at the point, unable to control his emotions. And he feels like he'll never live again, but as he looks deep into her eyes, he finds that tiny bit of hope within himself knowing that she's giving him strength and he needs it, God does he need it, without her there's just dark.

She gently takes me with her warm hand, back to bed, and they lay there, her head on his chest, like it belongs there, it has, all along. And as he strokes her soft hair between her fingers, he can't help but think the future that Is mapped out between them, eventually they will grow back together, learn to love again, and he feels the light flutter in his chest grow stronger, with her in his arms he feels optimistic and light, like he can do anything, and hope surrounds him again, as he lays there, quietly, ready to start his future with her.


End file.
